Being a Leader Worth Following

Being a leader worth following is quite the journey…

One of growth, expansion, being uncomfortable, facing criticism, unlearning and relearning what biblical leadership is compared to what the world says leadership is.

As a first born and natural leader, I’ve found myself in natural leadership positions most of my life. Captain of the sports team, leadership positions in school, influential positions within the community, leading in business, even being a certified John Maxwell Leadership Coach, etc.

I. love. leadership.

I come alive and every cell feels the “THIS is one of the things I was created for.”

But before my external reality matched my internal belief, I had to go on a journey…the longest 18 inch journey…

The one from the head to the heart.

I had to first, get to know a good Father - my creator - and get to know the “manual” that he wrote for me…who He was and who I was created to be so that no matter what others said, the most important thing in my heart was what Heaven said about me.

Sure, at first, leadership showed up in my life, but it was mostly positional. The smallest criticism would derail me, and at times, I was doing the actions of a leader but found that no one was following.

Before I could be more than a “positional leader,” I needed to first learn how to be a good follower…learning to be a good follower is something I think I will always be learning… I needed to learn how to be a voice and not an echo…

For me, leadership has looked like “reigning in and harnessing my gifts,” much like a rider does with a horse and bringing them under the submission of Jesus instead of letting them trample all over everyone around me.

Leadership looks like gaining the courage to step out into the unknown and to follow because I know who is leading me…even when it’s scary…even when I can’t see what’s around the bend and I’ve only seen glimpses of the outcome.

It looks like the “you’ve been on my heart” message to a friend when Holy Spirit prompts and stepping out in all of the uncomfortableness I feel when following the bread crumbs of “Jesus said his favorite thing about you is your ears and your toes” awkward beginning of a prophetic word only to then be given the most beautiful revelation of the intimacy of a mother’s love and knowing and loving every part of that person…

It looks like sitting at the lowest seat at the table, waiting to be called up instead of automatically sitting at the head of the table while having the confidence to know that a seat doesn’t downgrade my worth and an invitation up will always be better than assuming I have that seat.

It looks like one of my heart anthems being on the worship set, almost asking the worship leader if I could be the one on the team to sing it but listening to the Holy Spirit when he says “wait to be invited…” and being invited to sing it a few hours later.

It looks like every part of me wanting to be ministered to up front at the alter but honoring my season as a mom, sitting in the back with my babies, with the security to know that Jesus meets me right where I am. It looks like trusting that, just like when God lead the Isrealites in the desert, He never moved faster than what the children could move and so He will never lead me at a speed that leaves my family behind.

Leadership has looked like leading myself and my babies, even when no one is watching. The worship time at home. The devotionals with my kids. Knowing they are my first and most important ministry first and foremost. It’s the 3 am prayers that no one will ever hear and the tears of intercession no one will ever see.

Leadership requires devotion.

I’ve also learned that leadership means giving responsibility away and allowing others to be big around me instead of keeping it all to myself due to insecurity in an effort to power-grab or control. I used to think that the programs I was creating or business I was building was dependent on me and about me, until I realized that’s not how God made me. A lot of today’s world is all about the “guru at the front of the room” and the thousands of social media “followers” but that’s not how I was made…Society also says that “it’s lonely at the top” and questioning that narriative against what heaven says, that we were made community.

I had to question what’s normally done in the world… With my prophetic and apostolic God-given gifts, I am actually meant to be the foundation for others to build upon and make things even better than what I could make them & take them higher than I could ever take them. Not the guru or leader “at the top.” I’m meant to be at the bottom. The firm foundation for others to build upon. And when I aligned with how I was divinely created instead of what the world said I “should do,” everything changed for the better.

That same “THIS is what how I was created” feeling came back and things that used to be a struggle settled into ease and flow.

It actually now fills me with joy to see others do better than me, as I’ve grown in who I am and who God has called me to be. To see THEM lead…to see HER be seen…to build and provide a platform for others to step up onto is just…well…divine…

Leadership has looked like an inward journey first, before it could ever be expressed outwardly and has looked like aligning my life with the Creator’s design over my own or what society says.

Leadership has looked like coming in low AND standing tall as a loved daughter and servant queen. I believe in coming in low, like much of the church but that we aren’t meant to stay low. That God is the lifter of our heads and calls us to arise and shine, not because of what we’ve done but because of who He is.

Leadership has looked like taking every thought captive when they begin to run rampant. It has looked like setting boundaries, saying no to more things and protecting my yes, even if others don’t understand.

It looks like choosing love even when I don’t want to, holding my tongue out of respect as well as speaking up even if my voice shakes. It looks like having the hard conversations to protect connection instead of saying what’s fluffy and safe keep the peace, saying “what sounds good” and even saying sorry over being right.

It looks like being a voice and not an echo. It’s s sharing the divine revelation that only comes from intimacy with the Spirit, and questioning common narratives, wondering if that’s actually how it’s done in heaven.

It looks like honoring the call that God has on my life as a leader and following Him on a crazy and beautiful adventure, in hidden seasons AND in visible seasons.

It looks like recognizing the gifts in others and calling them out so that they too, can help fulfill the mandate of bringing heaven to earth.

It looks like the encounters I’ve had with Holy Spirit, in the secret place, dancing in the fields and following his every step and move so that I can, one day, follow Him as I lead others.

It has looked like not only knowing God as a good father but knowing and following Jesus as King: that I am a loved daughter AND a queen (not because of what I’ve done, but because of who He is and who I am in Him).

Leadership has been an inward journey first, so that my outward world will eventually catch up and match, and believing the reality of heaven here on earth, even if the process is messy before the situation aligns with heaven.

Now, as my external reality and the honor that I have of leading women in ministry and equipping other leaders to lead and build community catches up to my internal reality, as hard as the journey has been, it’s been worth it.

I’m still learning to lead and follow well but it’s not just something I know in my head…it’s something I am in my heart.

LeadHER - it’s not just what I do, it’s a part of who I am and who God created me to be.